The A Word ...

Anxiety …

Oh that lovely A-word. Those of us who experience it know all too well when that Beast rears his ugly head and stares us square in the eyes. Our hearts beat out of our chests, we become shaky, our thoughts seemed fogged, and then comes the maddening irritation that bubbles up from the deepest, darkest depths within us when we suddenly hear, “Oh relax” or “Geez, chill out!” from those who get to experience our own lovely anxiety, from the outside.

And hearing this never truly helps, does it? Having someone, who seems annoyed by your “nonsensical and irrational” fear, worry or over-concern for something in the moment can feel as if they’re mocking you. In your mind, you hear this little voice saying “Get it together already – you’re fine, this isn’t that big of a deal!” You almost feel as if you should be walking around with that scarlet A on your chest, as if experiencing anxiety first hand wasn’t bad enough - it feels as if the entire world sees you at your most vulnerable and laughs. It’s quite a lonely place to be sometimes. You and your A. Yuck.

There are numerous ways to try and “relax” or “chill out” but I’m going to share three that most of my clients report, by doing them, they feel an almost immediate sensations of calm.

By doing one or all of these, you can grab the reigns and take back some control the next time you feel “The Beast” rearing its ugly head.

Let me break this down for you:

1) You can get all Zen-like: which typically looks like you closing your eyes, placing your hands on your belly, and doing what’s called “belly breathing.” Deep breaths in through your nose for 4 counts, letting your hands rise on your belly during the in-breath and slowly exhale for 4 counts feeling your hands fall as your belly releases on the out-breath.  Repeat for 5 counts, 6 counts, 7 counts … whatever you need until you’re feeling more relaxed. This takes practice – so don’t stress if “nothing’s working! This is taking too long!” It’s supposed to take some time. Just breathe – you’re giving your central nervous system a bit of a massage – so enjoy!

2) You can get physical: If you’re sitting down – stand up and walk. Pace if you must but get moving. If you’re not in a position where you can get up and move – stay seated/laying down/etc. and place your palms on opposite shoulders, so that your arms are crossed at your chest and just tap, one palm at a time, like your gently drumming. Get into a rhythm, be gentle, focus on the tapping and feel the air you’re breathing through your nostrils and the soothing, touches that you feel. (These are called butterfly hugs- works wonders for anxious kids too!) This can also be done by gently tapping the tops of your thighs, if you’re in a seated position. Again, gently, thoughtfully as if you’re nurturing a small child or animal that needs a sensation of calm. (Tapping IS a thing by the way – it creates something called bilateral stimulation, which is a way that your brain processes things but that’s a whole separate topic so you can read more about it here if you want.)

3) You can flex your cognitive muscle or just call it “Trickery:” In a sense you’re tricking your brain by distracting it. Next time you feel that big A-word sneaking up on you – stop and challenge yourself with one of the following:

-       Look around you and notice everything that’s RED (or pick another color) and name it, list it, count it … something. Identify all things this color until you’ve relaxed.

-       Look around and find 10 things small enough to fit in your pocket – if you can, pick them up, feel for weight, textures, and of course size. (No stealing though – seriously put it back!)

-       Close your eyes and listen, feel, and just be – name 3 things you experience using your senses other than your eyes: smells, sounds, tastes, and feelings.

How’s all that for trickery?! 

Bam – try and mess with me now, Anxiety! 

 

These are three basic, easy to do, takes practice and self-compassion kind of things that anyone can do when The Beast shows up. These may not help in times of sheer panic, or serious phobias but for the low-grade anxiety wave that comes over you like the mouth-watering smell of popcorn at the movies – try these out!

Anxiety is my thing … not only do I find myself successfully managing it on a daily basis, I deeply enjoy helping others learn to do the same. 

If you find yourself struggling with anxiety that gets in the way of enjoying life – call me, I’d like to help 714-390-1652 or email me at Robyn@TherapywithRobyn.com